I will always treasure the short memories we had, and wonder bittersweetly about what could have been. Sigh...
Good things came out of this, however. Firstly, the game did not save my wasting of a Rare Candy on Magikarp, and since I put him at the front of my line-up to gain experience while I desperately tried to find another Clefairy, he eventually hit level 15 and learned Tackle.
So you don't GET no damn candy, Magikarp! I blame you for me losing Clefairy. Fuck you, you dick-sniffle. Become Gyarados already! I don't have a water-type yet that can do water damage!
Also, all of my Pokemon basically leveled by 3, since I was working my DICK OFF to get my Charmander evolved back into a Charmeleon. Busting though Mount Moon like a motherfucker (but accidentally forgetting the Rare Candy in a dark corner somewhere), I walked away with this nasty bastard...
HOO-RAH! Lieutenant Surge is gonna get boned in a couple of days, and this fisty bastard is gonna lead the charge.
And I know you're all wondering: What fossil did I pick? If you aren't wondering that, you're a fucking dumb. You need to make the pivotal choice in Mt. Moon between the Dome Fossil and the Helix Fossil. ALWAYS PICK DOME! Dome yields Kabuto, and Kabuto becomes Kabutops, and Kabutops is a nasty little shit and demands respect!
This fucker here is just biding his time before he destroys everything you love.
When I first popped out of the mountain, I thought maybe I'd find a Clefairy around the tall grass near Cerulean. Sadly no, but ooooooooh, you see this?!
I still maintain that Ekans is one of the only inherently-evil Pokemon in existence. When you first got killed by the combo of Poison Sting and Wrap, did you NOT throw your Gameboy at the face of the nearest orphan? I thought so.
I figured I'd have to do a lot of grinding before I take on Misty, so I headed up towards Bill's cottage--
By the way...by the FUCKING way...does anyone remember that when you first meet Bill, he's this hideous half-man, half-Pokemon mutant as result of a teleporter experiment?! What the fuck! Shit just got real in Kanto.
...so I headed up towards Bill's cottage--
By the FUCKING WAY, HOW MANY TRAINERS ARE UP THERE?! LIKE 90?!? I take one step and like four hikers are on me all like, "Hey, I have 12 Geodudes and I'm still happy with my life choices!" Ridiculous. I blacked out twice.
...so I headed up towards Bill's cottage--
BY THE FUCKING WAY I DID NOT FUCKING EXPECT THIS SHIT!
It's Ass-Bag, outta fucking nowhere, ready to fuck my shit up the second I take two steps onto Nugget Bridge. Fucker came at me with his Squirtle, a Pidgeotto, a Rattata, and an Abra. A fucking Abra! Who walks into a Pokemon fight and thinks, "You know, this could be a tough battle. I better use Abra." He is the psychic Magikarp, and a cunt-and-a-half to catch in the wild. But guess what, sluts?
FUCKING NABBED THAT SONNUVABITCH! Thank you, Pikachu and your delicious, delicious Thunderwave.
...so I went up toward Bill's cottage, got the S.S. Anne ticket, and caught the single-most useful Pokemon I have encountered thus far.
Don't you DARE fucking laugh at this street-ass gangsta! This fucker RAPES Geodudes, keeps himself at full health with Absorb, learns nasty status-powder attacks, and takes the heat off Pikachu when I come a-knocking on Misty's door. This walking blue onion don't take your shit.
I predominantly played through all this at work today (slow day, don't fucking judge me), and I didn't want to forget any details about the fight with Misty, so that will be the next installment. Here's where we're at, skanks:
Charmeleon, Lvl 19
Pikachu, Lvl 17
Pidgey, Lvl 16
Magikarp, Lvl 16
Oddish, Lvl 15
Butterfree, Lvl 15
Pokedex: 16, Badges: 1
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