The Three Amigos

Yes, that just happened, but that's not what's important right now.

I'm low on money in this game, and I just spent the last big chunk of money on getting 10 Ultra-Balls to catch Moltres.  Going through Victory Road, I saw Machokes, Marowaks, Gravelers, and very high-level Onixes.  So I had to try to catch Moltres in 6 Ultra-Balls or less, but I wanted as healthy a team as possible before fighting Moltres, so I had to run from every wild Pokemon battle, very strategically fight off the trainers, then come up with the game plan for Moltres, which went a little something like this:

MOLTRES:   You have come this way to challenge the Elite Four.  Turn back now, for I am too great a challenge for you to handle, puny child.

FUCK, I:   I've heard that before.  I'm not that impressed.

MOLTRES:   Fool! How dare you speak to me with such irreverence! I am Moltres, legendary bird of flame! Kneel before--

ZAPDOS:   Dude, just get in the ball.

MOLTRES:   Zapdos? What...what are you doing here? N-no! I will not submit myself--

ARTICUNO:   C'mon, man.  Don't make this any harder than it needs to be.

MOLTRES:   Wait.  Fucking really?! You too?

ARTICUNO:   Believe me, I was just like you when this kid came through Seafoam.  He's not joking.

MOLTRES:   B-but...I don't wanna get in the ball--

ZAPDOS:   Don't be a fucking dick about it, just get in--!

ARTICUNO:   Maybe you should let me handle this; you're a little too high-level and a little too aggressive.

ZAPDOS:   Fine, but I'm gonna paralyze him after you do your thing!

MOLTRES:   Woah, wait a goddamn minute! Where do you get off--?

ARTICUNO:  *Ice Beam*

MOLTRES:   FUCK, DUDE! I'm down to 3 health! The fuck is your problem?!

ZAPDOS:   *Thunder Wave*

MOLTRES:   Fffffffuck! I can't feel my goddamn wings! I'll kill you for this!

ZAPDOS:   *Reflect* That's right.  Let it all out.

MOLTRES:   You son of a bitch! I'm gonna...I'm...I...*Moltres is fully paralyzed*

ARTICUNO:   Right.  Whenever you're ready, sir.

(Throws the Ultra-Ball)

Now, I have to grind and catch those four Pokemon that I've been wanting.  I might only catch three of them, though, since I taught that Geodude of mine Bide and I think it would mean more if I leveled him up to Graveler.  He's only level 21 and he'll evolve at level 25...I think I'll skip catching Graveler.  Machoke, Marowak, and a better Onix, though? Yeah, y'all are fucked.  After that, there's gonna be a fuck-ton of grinding, because by the end of the Indigo Plateau challenge, Fag-Bag's gonna throw a level 65 Blastoise at me, and most of the Pokemon will be in the late 50's, early 60's, and if you take a look at my current ass-kicking team, you'll see that it can't quite kick the necessary level of ass.

My "Top 6 Favorites Team" is probably not going to be the team that take down the Elite Four, but after all this is said and done, I will be keeping this saved game, raising those six Pokemon up, and getting them prepped for any other players out there who want to try to take me on in a battle.  My "Suck My Nuts, Elite Four! Team" is gonna look a little bit more like what I have right now because of the following factors:

First of the Elite Four is Lorelei with her Ice-type Pokemon.  I have Charizard and Moltres to melt the Ice folks, and Zapdos to fry the Water-type combination Pokemon.  That shouldn't be a huge issue.

Second up is Bruno with all the Fighting-types.  Alakazam can take care of the Fighting-types, Zapdos with his Drill Peck can really fuck them up also, and Articuno can pitch in and take out the Rock-types he's got.

Agatha has her Ghost-types next, but really, she's more of a Poison-type trainer, since every one of her Pokemon have a Poison-type in addition to whatever they have otherwise.  This will be Alakazam's fight predominantly.

Last of the Elite Four is Lance the Dragon-type master, which is really only weak against itself and Ice-types, but hey...that's why I'm bringing Articuno along.  He'll make short work of the Dragon-types, but I have to lead with Zapdos, since Gyarados is gonna take a beating from Thunder.

Finally...Fag-Bag.  I've seen what Fag-Bag brings to the table and I've already faced him with my proposed team minus Moltres and it went fairly well.  Articuno against Rhydon, Vaporeon against Arcanine, Charizard against Exeggutor, and Zapdos against Blastoise.  Pidgeot can take a beating from whoever, but Alakazam needs to be taken out quickly, so whoever ends up having the most Attack power and the strongest hits by that point is gonna need to aim for him.

I think it's a pretty solid plan, but I don't have the levels to pull it off just yet.  Therefore, I descend into the caves to fuck shit up.

Zapdos, Lvl 55

Articuno, Lvl 51

Moltres, Lvl 50

Charizard, Lvl 47

Vaporeon, Lvl 45

Alakazam, Lvl 43

Pokedex: 90, Badges: 8