VICTORY SCREEEEEEEECH!

As a note for this entry, whenever you see the words "VICTORY SCREECH", you should play this video right here:

It is an evening of a thousand victories, and all the more sweeter is that each victory is rewarded with greater spoils atop even more spoils.

I boot up the game and say to myself, "You're sick.  You get two runs through the Safari Zone tonight. If you don't catch Scyther, you try again tomorrow."

First Pokemon I see is a Scyther.

Okay, let's do this.

Throw Safari Ball.  Jiggle. Jiggle.

...Jiggle--CAUGHT?!?!?!?!?!?

I'm sorry, fucking what?!?!? I spent HOURS trying to catch this fucking guy and he just gives up like that? Was this a pity-catch?

NO! I like to think that, because you can't knock out Pokemon in the Safari Zone, I've been trying to catch the one same Scyther this entire time and I've finally worn him down.  That, and if he read the blog, he'd know I'm a Time-Lord by virtue of the save function and that probably scared him into submission.

VICTORY SCREECH!

I'm gonna ride the wave on this one.  I head over to the Fighting Dojo in Saffron City and embarrass their sensei.  Who leads the charge?

If you need to utterly humiliate a "gym leader", take him down with this bad boy or any of his prior forms.  He's a fucking MONSTER! I win! I steal your Pokemon! Suck a Tae Kwon Dick!

VICTORY SCREECH!

Aww, shit! You know who I just remembered is fucking chilling out in the goddamn Silph Co. building?

Remember how you housed me on the way to save Silph Co. from Team Rocket so that I could get my Master Ball? I SURE AS SHIT DO! FFPOW! Right in the mouth, asshole! Beat you so bad, dude next to you was like, "Oh shit, son! Take this slutty-ass Lapras as a gift! You rock, dude!"

VICTORY SCREECH!

Gonna go get me a Master Ball.  Wait, what's this?

Oh, you want some, too? Did you not hear the screeches? Tell you what...I'm gonna give you a fair shot.  All y'all Pokemon are at level 35-41...I'm gonna use just a level 23 and a 30.  Does that work out for you? No, it's not fair that the level 30 one is Gengar and I'm only using him to fuck you up on your Kangaskhan, but the level 23 shouldn't be too bad to take down.

Oh...you couldn't take it down? You let it wipe you whole team out? But how can this be????

Eye of the Seaking, bitch.  She's got it.  She gets closer every day.  Soon, your world will end.  No need to thank me, Mr. President, but I will take your automatic Pokemon-catcher, if you'd be so kind.

VICTORY SCREECH!

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go relax a bit before I have to beat the shit out of Sabrina and take my sixth gym badge.  Enjoy this metaphorical video representation of my adventures this evening:

Charizard, Lvl 40

Alakazam, Lvl 38

Pidgeot, Lvl 37

Gengar, Lvl 31

Goldeen, Lvl 25

Scyther, Lvl 24

Pokedex: 63, Badges: 5