TRAINER: Dodrio! Keep it up! Every time you use Rage, your attack power goes up and you'll be able to take out Alakazam!
SABRINA: Alakazam...Recover.
TRAINER: No! It's like Dodrio never even touched him! And his attack power is at it's peak; Dodrio can't knock out Alakazam--
SABRINA: I'm growing bored with this pathetic worm, Alakazam. Use Psywave and finish him.
TRAINER: Noooo! Dodrio! I...I've lost everything...
SABRINA: Did you think you actually stood a chance against the leader of the Saffron City Gym? My, my, my...that may be the saddest thing I've ever heard. Go on, then. Take your little bird to Lavender Town; I'm sure they have a spot for him in the tower...
TRAINER: (runs out sobbing)
SABRINA: Bwah haha haha haha haha! Ha haha haha haha--
????????: Natsume! Shoubu wa mada tsuicha inai yo!
SABRINA: !
(music cue)
SABRINA: Who dares challenge me with my name in the original Japanese release--?!
SABRINA: Well, well...if it isn't Fuck, I! Have you come back to face another grueling humiliation at the hands of my superior Psychic-type Pokemon?
FUCK, I: If you are truly psychic, Natsume, you would have good reason to tremble before me, for I am not the same Pokemon trainer I was when I first challenged you. My skills have far exceeded that of my peers, and I have just attained a new level of Pokemon mastery. So I implore you, "Sabrina"...hand over the Marshbadge and you may keep your reputation.
SABRINA: How dare you waltz into my gym and demand such things! I am a Pokemon League-recognized gym leader, keeper of one of the eight Kanto badges, and none may pass to the Indigo Plateau without first claiming victory over me. There has only been one person to defeat me during my time as gym leader in Saffron City, and Fag-bag was twice the trainer you ever could be.
FUCK, I: ...I have defeated Fag-bag at every turn, and for mentioning his name in my presence, you shall receive no mercy. Bring forth your best, Natsume...I want you to crush you in your prime!
SABRINA: You insolent welp! I shall send you and all of your beloved Pokemon to Lavender Town in a box!
I'm going to take this pathetic worm down the same way I took him down the first time. I'll send out my Kadabra first and lure Fuck, I into a false sense of security.
First victim: Scyther
Ah, yes. I remember his sad little Scyther; how long it took him to catch it, and how confident he was that it could contend with me at only level 27--
--he's level 40 now? When the hell did that happen? Wait a minute...he's not bait-and-switching. He's not here for the experience.
He's here for the--
One-shot slash kill?!? Oh, shit! KADABRA! That thing is fucking fast!!!
Mr. Mime! Get out there and take him down!
ANOTHER CRITICAL SLASH?!? What exactly am I dealing with here...
His Attack is 110 and his Speed is 109?!? Mother of God...
Venomoth! I need you! Poison him! Paralyze him! Do something to stop this rampage!
He's switching out? Coward! Who must Venomoth destroy now?
Substitution: Charizard
Charizard? Yes...it was because of Venomoth's poison that Charizard fell to Alakazam in the first place; it's only fitting that he should attempt to gain revenge. But so foolish, using his strongest Pokemon before the last possible moment! He'll be poisoned and he will fall!
...level 45?! Alakazam isn't even at level 45! Venomoth, it was a mistake to send you out!
Critical hit on Ember!?! One-shotted again?!? This can't be happening!
FUCK, I: All that's left is your Alakazam, Natsume. Call him out. I have someone I'd like him to meet: the strongest Pokemon on my team!
SABRINA: Alakazam! Show him no mercy! Destroy him!
Fuck, I's champion: Parasect???
This is it? A level 39 Parasect? He can't possibly do any damage to my Alakazam that he can't Recover from--
--unless...
Alakazam, QUICKLY! USE PSYWAVE!
Such pathetic damage? Of course! Bug-types are resistant to Pyschic-types!
Stun Spore? No! I know what he's doing! He's slowing Alakazam up and trying to prevent his Recover move! You'll have to try harder than--
--why is he switching out?
FUCK, I: You didn't think Parasect was my strongest, did you? Please. I told you I reached a new tier of Pokemon masterdom, and I intend to show you how absolutely fucked you really are! GO...!
Fuck, I's true champion: Zapdos
Hold the fucking phone! What is that?! WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?! WHERE THE FUCK DID HE GET THAT?! HOW THE FUCK DID HE GET THAT?!
LEVEL 50?!?!?!?!?!?!
Oh shit...
Alakazam...use Recover?
Drill Peck?! THAT NEARLY KILLED ALAKAZAM! Quickly, use Reflect! Get that armor up!
Thundershock...it's like the skies opened up and Zeus himself consumed Alakazam in an instant.
I...I don't believe it...
FUCK, I: Believe it, bitch.
SABRINA: I'm shocked!
FUCK, I: Don't diminish my victory with a fucking pun, twat!
SABRINA: A loss is a loss. I admit I didn't work hard enough to win!
FUCK, I: You think you held back? Child, you couldn't TOUCH my Zapdos if you were on its fucking back!
SABRINA: You earned the Marshbadge. Take it, and leave me to my sorrow.
FUCK, I: I want...like...$4000 and a TM. Fuckin' hand it over.
SABRINA: I have TM 46. It teaches Psywave--
FUCK, I: Fuck it, I'll take it. Peace out, slut.
(Fuck, I leaves)
SABRINA: I...I love you...
Zapdos, Lvl 50
Charizard, Lvl 45
Electrode, Lvl 41
Pidgeot, Lvl 40
Scyther, Lvl 40
Parasect, Lvl 39
Pokedex: 75, Badges: 6
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