Ain't No Cinnabons On This Island

I did a little bit of research and I discovered that while most of my Pokemon are type-strong against Blaine and are mostly on-par level-wise, his closer Arcanine is at level 47, which shouldn't be too bad, considering I outnumber his team 6 to 4, I have the type advantage, and the level gap is less than 7 for each Pokemon.  I'm confident I can take him down, but I won't be taking any chances.  Hard-hitting water attacks throughout, no bait-and-switches.  Besides, my Water-types need to be good and strong for Giovanni in Viridian City, so they'll need the experience.

By the way, do you remember how you can bypass all the trainers in the Cinnabar Gym by answering a Pokemon quiz? Umm, I didn't come here for a fucking SAT.  I came here for battles, experience, and your motherfucking money.  I'll answer the questions, then I'll kick your ass for the hell of it.  Poppa needs to buy vitamins in Celadon.

Let's do this thing.

Cinnabar Island Gym: Blaine, That Old Fuck

Why did you lock the door to your gym? You're supposed to take on any and all challengers.  You're just as bad as Lieutenant Surge with the fucking trashcan switches.  Besides, your Generation 1 sprite makes you look like a damn alien.

First Opponent: Growlithe...awwwww

I really don't enjoy battling Growlithes.  I love them.  I just want to hug them all and give them little hats and we can dance on a rainbow forever together.

But this is business.

No mercy, Starmie.

Surf: a relatively-painless one-hit knock-out.  Fuck, there were a lot of hyphens in that sentence.

Next Up: Ponyta

Why does he insist on sending the cute Pokemon in to die for him? Can't he have caught a Magamar or something? At least I don't have to slaughter a Vulpix to get this badge.

Seaking, you're fast.  Try to beat Ponyta to the first hit.

Fuck yeah, Seaking! Waterfall into oblivion! Two down, two to go.

Third Combatant: Rapidash

Somewhere, the President of the Pokemon Fan Club in Vermillion City is jizzing in his pants right now.  Rapidash got some power behind it.  Vaporeon, you can take the hits and deliver the beat-down.

Starting with a Growl, eh Blaine? Great use of a turn.

Take one turn and activate Acid Armor.  I'm gonna wanna keep you for Blaine's closer, so bulk up.

And BOOM! Two turns before you get a second, Blaine! How'd that happen? I don't give a FUCK! Surf is up and Rapidash is DOWN!

The Closer: Arcanine, the Beast

Still don't know if I want to evolve Growlithe into this, but we'll see once he learns Flamethrower.  Anything can happen.  Vaporeon, you got this, dude.

Good Surf.  Not a one-hit, but easily down to less than a quarter-health.

And Arcanine's Take-Down misses! All those eggs in one basket and you just screwed the pooch.  Round of applause for Arcanine.

Surf's up, Vaporeon.

Goodbye, Blaine, and thanks for the TM.  The most rewarding thing about beating Blaine is receiving the TM for Fire Blast.

And yes, you teach your Charizard that move.  Do you not have a Charizard? Did you pick Bulbasaur in the beginning? WHAT THE FUCK IS THE MATTER WITH YOU! Bulbasaur is for pussies.  Did you even read this blog?!?

Pro-Tip: Read the fucking blog from the beginning.  It tells you stuff.

Charizard, Lvl 45

Tentacruel, Lvl 43

Kabutops, Lvl 42

Vaporeon, Lvl 42

Seaking, Lvl 42

Starmie, Lvl 41

Pokedex: 89, Badges: 7