Seriously guy?! SERIOUSLY?!?! Don't fuck with me right now! My team is primed to kick the ass of a legendary bird and you wanna play rival now?!? Alright, fuck-face. You get your own breakdown.
Oh shit, he's got six Pokemon! Good for you, dip-shit!
First Up: Pidgeot
Dude, I had Articuno out so he could lay waste to anything in those caves before shit got real, so just get ready for that shit. Use Blizzard--
Quick Attack? Okay. Blizzard still raped you. Next, please? And this time, I'm gonna pay attention to type.
Second to the Plate: Rhyhorn
...you deserve this, dumbass. Ice Beam. Kill it. Thank you. Fucking next?
Third Opponent: Growlithe
Now you're using your thinking-cap, Ass-Bag! Too bad Vaporeon is here with me as well. Surf's up, bitch! And now you're thinking, "Huh...better go get that Fire Stone," ain't ya? Fuck you, stupid.
Fourth Foe: Exeggcute
Dude, seriously. Go to Celadon City, buy a couple of evolution stones, and meet me when you find your motherfucking BALLS! OOOOOH! Charizard, kick this thing in the dick with a Fire Blast. Thank you. Do you see what I'm doing to you, Fag-Bag? DO YOU SEE THIS?!?!?!
Fifth Dude: Alaka-motherfucking-zam
Did you not hear how I destroyed Sabrina's Alakazam? Zapdos, get in there and remind his sorry ass why I have the Marshbadge. THUNDER!
Not a one-hit...fine--
RECOVER. You, sir, are a shit-ass.
Drill Peck. Fucking Recover THAT, you sandy fucking vag!
Fag-Bag's Starter: Blastoise, the Fucking Hammer
Zapdos, if I can get one more Thunder to put his ass to sleep, that would be lovely. Thank you so very much for that one-hit knock-out.
I'm gonna pretend like this never happened, asshole, so why don't you run the fuck home and get out of my goddamned way?
Moltres! I'm coming for your ass!
Zapdos, Lvl 53
Articuno, Lvl 51
Charizard, Lvl 45
Vaporeon, Lvl 43
Alakazam, Lvl 42
Dugtrio, Lvl 35
Pokedex: 89, Badges: 8
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