Kill a Baby for a Gyarados

Do you guys remember the dude in the Pokemon Center right outside the entrance to Mount Moon that wants to sell you a Magikarp for $500? Yeah, I know, Magikarp is the worst fucking thing in the world and takes forever to level him, but I mean come on! How can I NOT want a Gyarados as soon as possible? Fucking look at this b.a.m.f.!

I'd kill a fucking baby to get a Gyarados! So...that means I gotta deal with this lazy shit first:

Fuckin'...hooray, I guess? I don't know, shut up!

Also, just so we're all very clear, Jigglypuff is a fucking cunt-wagon.  Don't fucking sing at my Pokemon and make them go to sleep just so you can butt-fuck them with Pound.  That's a dick-ass move, Jigglypuff.  You're a sack of shit.

So, I'm just trying to level my Metapod outside of the mountain, but Spearows are fucking everywhere, so I have to do the whole bait-and-switch with Pikachu in order to safely fuck them up.  Metapod's at Level 9 now and he still hasn't learned Harden...which is weird, because Beedrill never learned Harden either.  Why the fuck won't they learn it?! They need that shit for later!

Do what you're supposed to do, fuck-face!

I'm sorry...I didn't mean that.  Just become a Butterfree already, please?

Charmander, Lvl 13

Pidgey, Lvl 12

Beedrill, Lvl 10

Nidoran, Lvl 10

Pikachu, Lvl 10

Metapod, Lvl 9

Pokedex: 10, Badges: 1